Opened this fortune cookie and it had nothing inside it. Even this cookie thinks I have no future. Thanks u cookie ❤️ https://t.co/1hiGxnMM6e
Finally caught up on American Gods. Absolutely BRILLIANT! Made this (heart/feather) fanart gif. Watch the show if you haven't yet. https://t.co/NpuPhVjpSH
Hi friends, your favourite blogger is gearing up for #IndependenceDay! https://t.co/dR3weGWNL4
Inspired by Sarahahah, innovative blogger starts leaving actual heartfelt handwritten constructive feedback for his coworkers https://t.co/WMnGVJf2wz
I was cleaning my room and I found this old Archie Digest (1998). Nostalgia kicked in instantly. Let me run you guys through this issue... https://t.co/HtEvKPkYAu
Uber: "Isse apni hi gaadi samjho" Me to driver: "Kal se iski EMI main bharoonga"
Varun Dhawan: "Dad, you read Kangana's comments on nepo–" David Dhawan: "She can fuck off" *takes old Judwaa script* *scribbles '2' on it*
[male bank teller + long queue] "Iss country ka kuchh nahi ho sakta" [female bank teller + long queue] "ladizlog bohot slow hoti hain yaar"
Completed my first half marathon today https://t.co/eazBfpbSTT
Uber: "Here's a discount code for your next 10 rides!" Me: "YAY!" Uber: "Valid only till tomorrow" Me: "YAY kya bakwaas hai"
If you're a Baba Ram Rahim fan whose house is half flooded rn but still went to watch Siddharth Malhotra's movie, you're a true gentleman.
*Dany looks at Jon Snow* "Kit Haringtontanatontontara chalti hai kya nau se barah" [GoT directed by David Dhawan]
Hi friends. Glad to announce that I'm a #film #critic now. https://t.co/uOnnAi3Ixs
Me: "Ladai mat karo yaar baat cheet se bhi toh problem solve ho sakti hai" Karate teacher: "Pls leave my class"
Friend 1: "I'm getting married!" Friend 2: "Wife and I are expecting" Me: "Congrats guys *sips drink slowly* meri Uber rating 4.8 hai"
Hello health freaks! Your favourite food blogger is cooking a super healthy salad for dinner tonight that has negative calories. https://t.co/A6Js4YnqWX
Me on #TeachersDay: "Ma'am I got a rose for you" Me, rest of the year: "Bio teacher aur lab assistant ka chakkar chal raha hai maloom kya"
Salman is inaugurating a driving centre in Dubai. Need an acting school inaugurated? Arbaaz is free tomorrow noon (also rest of the year).
Saw the Paytm Mall ad on TV. 2013: Phone recharge 2017: Movies, flights, and shopping!? 2020: 50% Cashback on space trip, use code MARS
Friend, vacationing in Prague: "Dude what's up, where are you these days" Me, sitting at my work desk: https://t.co/gS4tp2rflY
When you want to take your girl for an Ashutosh Gowarikar movie https://t.co/UE3JEp3vGF
News "Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk are arguing about the future of AI" Me: "Ya ok but why isn't Hrithik replying to Kangana's accusations"
Who remembers this epic scene from Iqbal? It still moves me. https://t.co/h4bZqkRoHn
Friends, your favourite blogger is now a DJ! https://t.co/ZimNJZcKq0