People do paid tweets all the time. I do one and the universe is like https://t.co/B3h4bZFPhj
*making a Nazi swastika on the floor* mom: yeh kya banaya hai? me: wrongoli
Friend: Waiter, bill le aana please. Me: https://t.co/yflz5ekjbv
Ram jaane why he cancelled. https://t.co/bgf5d0cxFQ
Just heard Eminem's freestyle on trump and loved it. No wonder his raputation precedes him.
On this festival of lights, we wish you and your family had not wished us on whatsapp with those cringe-worthy forwards & a wrong signoff.
"Fir maine uspe itna bada GST laga diya" https://t.co/7eLp2X5Ic3
Rich is when your geyser never gets to know about the changing weather.
Never get into a debate with someone who's into accupressure. They keep pressing on one point.
1st of the month - Pay day 30th of the month - Paise day day
Me: Whatsapp is not working. Boss: Neither are you.
Friend: "I'm ordering food, you hungry?" Me: https://t.co/FbCrdGQ6hh
How many paychecks away from being broke are you?
HR team giving me an appraisal. https://t.co/QotyCnuyPE
 Twitter gives everyone freedom of speech  Twitter gives jokes to Whatsapp & FB  Twitter gives everyone blue ticks  Twitter gives everyone 280 characters  Twitter gives everyone ₹10 Paytm cashback per tweet
*Shiney Ahuja trips and falls* Everyone: Bai Bai Bai Bai
Q. What language do landlords ask rent in? A. Ur-due.