Swamy @slimswamy


Kehna hai, kehna hai, Aaj tum se ye pehli baar; Tum hi toh layi ho jiwan mein mere, PR PR PR! - Donald Trump to Kellyanne Conway.


Akbar looked so scared and wasted so much time fighting an elephant in Jodha Akbar. Bahubali did it so much better. Hindus are the best.


Going to watch Guardians of The गाय Lexi 2. Hope they save the गाय named Lexi this time. #Gauraksha


Not sure which is most difficult to understand: 1) Episode of American Gods 2) Women 3) Yash Chopra interview


Patriarchal Hyderabad crowd doesn't even whistle podu when Wonder Woman appears on screen for the first time.


#Only90sKidsRemember watching the dismissed batsman walk back to the pavilion because fewer advertisements.


Office has Single Sign On. Raabta has Kriti Sign On.


I'm a proud member of RSS - Raveena Saree Sangh.


#ProudToBeIndian https://t.co/SpxwoaXINF


If England reach the Champions Trophy finals against India, remember 18th June is Father's day. *runs*


Watched Republic TV for a few minutes and now I'm afraid everyone around me is anti-national. Thankfully Indian Army is the best. Jai Hind!


Chalo koi na India ka GDP growth better hai.


Indra Nooyi: I'm gonna show up at Oval and people will drink more Pepsi. Virat Hindu Kohli: Gau-mootra tha, pi gaya.


Pakistan tail has an opportunity to stretch the score to 220.


Yeh bowlers ne BYJU'S se bowling seekhi hai kya?


Phullu: I make pads. Rohit Sharma: De de Bhai, cricket wale pads toh janchte nahi mujh par.


Speaker: Today we generate 4ZB data. In 2020 it will 44ZB data. Almost 10 times! Me (mumbles): 44/4 = 11. Not "almost 10" #nasscomBigData


I want this Twitter to crash just so that the kids who are making noise die.


#NotInMyName - Bihari people after realizing that surname can reveal their caste.


So if I do not link Aadhaar to PAN, will the government stop me from paying tax? *shudders*


*GST kicks in* Zee News - Hum ko idhar se Pakistan udhar se China neeche se Lanka bagal se Bhutan sab attack kar rahe hain Jai Hind!


Just used "disrupt" thrice in a sentence and a conference organizer has already invited me to deliver keynote address on entrepreneurship.


Nobody cared about my tweets. So I became a standup comedian and now everyone one expects me to tweet with balanced opinions on everything.


Watching a low quality leaked video of your favorite show is like crushing on Kajol when she had the unibrow look. Thoda ruk jao Bhai!


न गाली, न गोली, पुच्ची दो एक गीली #AlternativeSolutionsForKashmir

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