my muscle memory is great. 28 years back, i stayed in bed all day, all night long. i can still do the same.
I remember being interested once. Just dont remember what it felt like.
I'm breathtakingly mediocre.
Kripya green tea ko chai na bolein.
Glad to see eSports finally get recognition in India. All thanks to #UCypher! Warna hum video games khelte the toh "AAG LAGA DENI HAI MAINE ISS DABBEY MEIN" sun-ne ko milta tha.
PLEASE ENJOY OUR 60% FLAT OFF SALE ON EVERYTHING THAT IS OUT OF STOCK
Nobody understands my mood swings like Vodafone. They've sent "download bikini babe wallpapers @ Rs. 30/month" & "listen to bhakti geet @ Rs. 5/bhajan" texts in a gap of 8 minutes
Friend's phone connected to my WiFi right away while I was asked to sign in. So now i will have to write गद्दार on the router.
"I'm no expert at this but.." "TOH MUH BAND RAKH NA!"
A major part of adulthood is wondering "aaj toh kuch kiya bhi nahi, fir kaise itna thak gaya?"
Told a friend to not worry & mind his own business & he said "i've no business. i've a govt job", i hope one day this tweet reaches him & he realises why we aren't friends anymore.
My favourite thing about weird flavours of "gourmet popcorn" is the part where someone offers it to me & I say "kya bakwaas hai ye. Tu hi kha."
*waits for things to fall back into place* *watches things fall apart*
Hate it when I say "shubh shubh bol" & they reply with "shubh shubh. Le bol diya" and then I've to spend hours cleaning the blood off the floor.
All your shopping cards will have hundreds of points according to sms & they'll all magically disappear the day you want to redeem them.
Just beat my previous top score in not doing anything with my life.
O bhai thand mein bed se uth ke susu karne jaane ka toh mann karta nahi. 7 ghante kyon bhaagein? https://t.co/avRsQA4pTq
We've entered 2018 & people still don't know how to use Cc & Bcc properly.
Galat team choke kar rahi hai ye toh!
"Not funny."- me, talking to life
Pimples are like guests who visit uninvited on sunday & ruin your mood for the entire next week.
My lack of enthusiasm in life is impressive.