What Funny Or Die Tweeted On Twitter?

Funny Or Die Latest Tweets On Twitter

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Oscar-award winner JK Simmons knows what YOLO means. @noactivitycbs @cbsallaccess https://t.co/hVdsn81I7E


ME: This fart feels like it'll be tiny and safe. Gonna let it out. MY ANUS: https://t.co/s6yTdwmTzv

Funny Or Die top tweets

ME (a person who uses their phone literally 24 hours a day): sorry just saw your text

All husbands should be ready to support a new mother. Full video here: https://t.co/r87YZWpzUm https://t.co/ELsEk0Oxfu


Happy MLK Day... y'know! https://t.co/DwNmYL8ckf


[email protected] kicker Greg Zuerlein proved his skills once again with a 57-yard game-winning field goal against the @Saints. Now he just needs to get a touchdown and show the world his celebration dance. #ad https://t.co/iCg4BQ73F5


How DO you know if you’re doing sex right? @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/9l1217Ox9t


Seven Deadly Sins: -Lust -Gluttony -Greed -Envy -Wrath -Pride -People who say they're "cool with anything for dinner but then you suggest 8 places and they have a problem with all of them"

How should you feel when someone calls instead of texts? https://t.co/shlK3bqued https://t.co/v7yHEyvcFo


He's survived the Russian mob and the world's toughest gangsters, but now John Wick must survive the ultimate challenge, a Destination Wedding! https://t.co/u10k92V46L


Stranger Things could have been a very different show: https://t.co/K3kT7hJG4Q https://t.co/N1T3UNrChW


You won't believe what NBC's hit new drama She-Ra has in store https://t.co/c92bZLjjvO


Would you enjoy Westworld more if Billy Crystal was in the cast? https://t.co/DBHQYDXxqi https://t.co/w1c3Sjh31z


Dress for the job you want, and will rage-quit weeks after getting it, but immediately regret bc you’re self-destructive like that. @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/WbQSuNsbZr


I AM LOGGED ON! L azy and depressed O G G E D O N

Me after literally every weekend. @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/ZtUffsN7tc


Soft pasta: just eat it, friend. @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #Ad https://t.co/BWH0DsKHLM


We have queef merch, folks https://t.co/tjETBoTlQt https://t.co/Ixlc1apgQc

Funny Or Die top tweets

Captain Planet may be taking the extreme approach, but maybe it's time? https://t.co/36YtA6LppH https://t.co/yp0cFs8Ta7


Daily Affirmations with Pete Holmes. A Semi-Successful Man’s Wisdom. @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/LXblpTul7u


María Mercedes is the horny version of Snow White https://t.co/3ycKvRECTb


MY CO-WORKERS: actually doing work ME: typing random keys while i wait for the three day weekend to start

Happy 221st birthday to the great @BettyMWhite

Public transportation is just another word for opportunity. @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/LkmkkO0tNk


He's done a lot of terrible things but this might just be the worst https://t.co/N41krkiqsW

Bro, I'm witnessing it *takes hit* *holds* *exhales* ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍r ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍i ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍g ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍h ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍t ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍n ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍o ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍w https://t.co/oJQYadZct4

Funny Or Die top tweets

With this impressive roster of big-name guest stars, 'Documentary Now!' season 3 looks like it's gonna be the best one yet https://t.co/xJ5ro4K1xA

Watch The Dude's Fab 5 transformation here: https://t.co/T0PB2WUtN2 https://t.co/nEwS8G1gpM


There's an art to smack talk. Watch the full episode of Tales of Titans here: https://t.co/O2aKBhbvEA https://t.co/kEg5PBqe5t


love to go to the gym* and work out** with my friends*** * bar ** drink 7 beers *** alone

Because there's nothing manlier than having to fish your razor out of a toilet and shouting it to the world https://t.co/nty68ytwTp

Do you really know who your dog is? https://t.co/pQhj5cyfXr https://t.co/5E6LbZtiIX


Keeping your emotions bottled up is a bad idea, and more life lessons from @CrashingHBO. #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/H363KwEyUO

TFW your parents bought their second house at your age, but you’re asking em for rent. @CrashingHBO #CrashingHBO #PeteWeek #ad https://t.co/xLGwuUVMvD


The minds that brought you 'The Office' are back with a new comedy that's sure to be out of this world https://t.co/3sfnct1sPa

JOB INTERVIEWER: do you have experience running a business? ME (played rollercoaster tycoon once): yes

Something strange in the the neighborhood... https://t.co/PIwQuF4J8J

I collect spores, molds, and fungus. https://t.co/7RC3pMBJV9


MY WIFI PASSWORD: passw0rd MY PARENTS' WIFI PASSWORD: gh3900FOME3406TmFIo30tUmFLLCAA0939R92495jkmkUkladod04i

IT'S GONNA BLESS THE RAAAAINS DOWN IN AFRICAAAAA https://t.co/orACaWJVc2

🚨 ATTENTION 🚨 https://t.co/GvGhxWFQOU

Funny Or Die top tweets

Hello 911? My coworker is whistling while he takes a piss.

How is a typo as bad as HAMBERDER even possible??? https://t.co/Y2b7caQbdy

The Least Popular Starburst Flavor In Every State https://t.co/6zNDGlk272

Funny Or Die top tweets

Retweet if this sparks joy https://t.co/pmGoEcQF4R

Funny Or Die top tweets

There's a lot to unpack here https://t.co/zIDL6QGNhK

if you take up two spots when you park i'm allowed to steal your tires

JFK: Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. TRUMP: i bought 300 hamburgers https://t.co/jopqUh7gqS

Funny Or Die top tweets

Try looking through these photos without cracking a smile. I DARE you. https://t.co/5Tr4HpMQRq

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