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Roses are red Violets are blue Keep your goddamn mouth closed Whenever you chew
Look we can't all be artists but we can all certainly laugh at these hilarious failed attempts https://t.co/Oo8c9KbXZJ
Have all of your anxieties put to rest with this soft-spoken mantra that's as soothing as it is witty https://t.co/p1myuFLgwb
Jonathan Van Ness (@jvn) loves three things: Petee’s Pies, Micellar water, and Game of Thrones. This week he is joined by the fabulous @AnnaKFaris. https://t.co/K8vZwsStqV
The world would be a better place if there were more people named "Sock" out there.
Who is your favorite Simpsons character?
Thank you Mother Earth for every thing you give us except pigeons
Whoever made the neverending story owes us some sort of compensation for making us watch that horse die in the quick sand
Are you qualified for Coachella? How would you handle the questions David Spade has for Charlotte Mckinney? https://t.co/i8yNFwHuuy
The best part of easter is when the man inside the bunny costume removes his head and body, and eats a cold calzone while staring into his open refrigerator
What's your favorite way of getting high?
Ever wonder what 'weed' stands for? W smoke E weed E very D day
Remember the time Zack Morris unleashed a plague of rodents? Zack Morris is trash. https://t.co/gaolWoRATk
I love to D ookie I n E very T oilet
How many obscure indie bands are going to call themselves "Harm to Ongoing Matter" after this https://t.co/TutJsxjslk
What's your favorite type of exercise?
This episode of The Ron Burgundy Podcast is -- in Ron's words -- "bloody brilliant". https://t.co/tcsR6zQZgs
The main difference between alligators and crocodiles is i’m not sexually attracted to gross ass crocodiles
Doing great on my new years resolution to go* to** the*** gym**** *jerk **off ***my ****dick
Jonathan (@jvn) loves three things - chocolate covered pretzels, Ivy Park running shorts, and Game of Thrones. https://t.co/mNDQ5esdOT
Avengers endgame spoiler: your wife leaves you at the end.
What's your favorite summer activity?