Gautam @gautamverma23

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People my age are having successful relationships, marriages and children. I can’t even get my crush talk to me properly.

people need to stop calling and start texting morrrreeeee!

If you have friends who say “thand me ice cream kaun khata hai?”, then you need new friends.

Now every time i smoke, i think of this and regret. 😭

Googled "Movies to watch after breakup" without actually going through a break up. I think Arvind Kejriwal is getting to my head. Crying over things that are not really there!

so called comedians nowadays don't crack jokes, they become one!

never date someone with a beautiful name, you are gonna spoil that name for yourself for the rest of your life!

Every time you have beer, you crave peanuts. 😞 Every time you have peanuts, you crave beer. 😞

Get rid of that phone and everything is going to be okay.

Got a new screen for my phone YESTERDAY and broke it again today. How’s your week going?

They are saying Indian cricket team has hit a new low, but in reality, people who are bringing in the Virat-Anushka thing are hitting the lowest.

the art of acting cool at difficult situation makes you hot..

Be with the one you love, not the one who loves you..

planning to watch black mirror (after S01E01), hope i don't have to see a man fucking a pig now..

7 days gone. Already giving up on 2018!

There’s nothing like one besan laddoo, either you don’t have it at all, or have the entire box by yourself!

Watched Black Mirror S03E01. For the first 15 minutes, i was like what the fuck is going on, after that i realised we are heading towards getting trapped by technology. It is good. Bloody good. DARK! Makes me feel like deactivate all my social media and go meet some real people!

Watched Black Mirror S03E02 last night. I am definitely getting hooked to this thing. If you explain this show to someone, it sounds like trash, but in that moment, all you do is think, think and think some more. The future we are getting into is exciting and also scary.

Nothing is more confusing than your ex sending you good morning texts.

Top 10 tracks i can think of at the moment: 1) Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child 2) Alesso - Years 3) Coldplay - Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall (Swedish House Mafia Remix) 4) Tiesto - Carry You Home 5) Axwell & Ingrosso - Dreamer

One thing u should remember, when you fail, make sure you fail miserably.

Black mirror has the power to make you feel like a drug addict.

Watched Black Mirror S03E03. My expectations went down to 0 when i saw S01E01. Now yesterday after watching S03E01 and E02, my expectations went up to 10. And now they are back to 0. Fucking bullshit!

“Coffee is going cold, it’s like time froze.”

new study shows only smart people can sleep upto 14hrs during winters!

new study also shows that people will believe anything you say if you add 'new study shows' in front of your bullshit statements!

men are from mars, women are from lindt

what's up? chaos

apple user trying to operate android

never leave someone whose hands are warm in winters..

just discovered you can mute Instagram stories, my life is way simpler now

“Hey we need to break up” “Wtf why?” “Because i am dead” #BreakUpIdeas

Last one minute of Dexter S04, last episode just killed me.

It is so nice to have sunlight hitting your face in winters and all you can see is massive dust particles and close the door and switch on the heater!

Watched the last episode of Dexter Season 4 yesterday and it's still running in my brain. A tv series that can make you feel like that for this long is something worth appreciating.

Stop waiting for things to be fine on its own. If you can do something about it, do it. It not, get used to it.

Please worry, if you want to be happy!

Every time i want to eat/drink something unhealthy, i read its “10 benefits” on google and gulp it down without any guilt.


some days, all you want to do is replace blood in your body with alcohol..

Only Dexter Morgan can make killing by stabbing someone in their chest look so satisfying!

Hindi review of Black Mirror is: Technology ki maa ki ankh

Black mirror episodes are either fucking awesome or fucking pathetic. There’s no grey zone here!

Guys, one thing, if you ever plan to work with this agency called Buzzerati/Fork Media, i would suggest you ask for full payment in advance. This is the worst agency to deal with. Cooking up stories since last six months. Just be extra careful with them!

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