Scientists landed on moon but can never figure out the logic behind people wearing reflector sunglasses on Indian weddings.
Breakups hurt. It hurts more while your ex has a stable job, a one plus 5, her fiance works in an MNC & posts pictures of pre wedding bachelor party photos.
Ticket liya hai kuch logon ne zindagi ka.. Tamasha bhi bharpur hona chahiye.
The best place to release Padmavat is torrent.
Friend just asked if I'd be able to make it to Bangkok. Idhar abhi tak Mathern nahi gaya.
Punjabi - Veere Di Wedding Marathi - Amchya dada chya lagnala yaicha haa. Navin aaher swikarle janar nahi.
Ordered an Under Armour tshirt for 2,500 Rs. & had to replace it twice due to size issues. Naseeb mein 300 Rs. ke upar ka tshirt likha hi nahi.
The real enemy of Mumbai is population.
Rich guy in gym is listening to Chura liye hai tumne jo dil ko on Skull Candy headphones while pumping 60kgs bench press.
So it's ok to burn firecrackers when you win elections and not during Diwali?
Meetha guy in gym is staring at me since 15 seconds. I don't know what to do.
Dreamt about getting married with Malaika Arora and someone repeatedly knocking on the door during suhagraat. FML.
Happy Diwali. :)
Never watch Tere Naam for atleast 50 years if you are recently broken up.
Rahul David stands in queue and there's so much buzz. I stood from CST to Kalyan in Mumbai local waiting for the 4th seat & nobody gave a fuck.
When a girl says she won't marry anyone except you, don't believe her.
Half of my life went digging for a job and the other half in getting stuck in futureless relationships.
Kitna bhi luxury watch pehen lo.. Jab time kharab aata hai toh brand nahi dekhta.
Kitne bhi branded shoes pehen lo.. Kaata dil mein hi ghusega.
Never let two things control you : 1. Gulabi Aankhen 2. Gulabi Note
Garam beer aur thandi jeb ko kutta bhi nahi poochega.
Tum career ke peeche bhaago.. Ladki doosre ke peeche bhaagegi. Tum uski friend ke peeche bhaago, ladki tumhare peeche bhaagegi.
If Tere Naam had Nawazuddin Siddiqui, it would have turned out a documentary.
Just came to know I was suffering from bipolar disorder for 3 years.
Match kaunsi bhi ho.. Haaregi Arsenal hi.
Baarish bhale Bandra mein jyada ho.. Doobega Sion hi.
Forget your girlfriend, you can't even trust the weather. #MumbaiRains
Mumbai weather is as confused as a newly arrived Bihari at CST. #MumbaiRains
Bandra people will only get Gucci rain.
I've said it earlier & I say it again.. Raj Thackeray on TED Talks would be 🔥
Best way to beat Mumbai traffic is to go back to your respective hometowns.
TED Talks with SRK tomorrow & I haven't even washed my TV with Fair & Handsome yet.
Hum toh swag ka swagat karte hai.. But swag humara swagat nahi karta.
Sorry for my German.. Par main toh shaadi se pehle hi randwa ho gaya.
Log Italy mein shaadi kar rahe hai.. Aur idhar Mathern jaane ke liye paisa nahi hai.
A real Mumbaikar is the one who hates Pune.
Half of the people tweeting about the wedding in Italy don't even have a passport.
Life mein utni roti nahi khayi jitna pyaar mein dhokha khaya hai.
Pyaar mein dhokha khane se accha biryani khaao.
You are not rich in Mumbai if you don't put atleast one Keventers pic on snapchat once a week.
The best politics was played by Ranbir Kapoor in Rajneeti.
Didn't expect bhubaneshwar having such cute chicks.
You are on the top game of your life when romantic songs don't affect you anymore.
Fuck new year resolutions. Make money!
Logged into social media sites and broke my new year resolution already.