The two favourite songs of the Indian cricket team - In India: ♬ Home Shanti Home, Shanti Shanti Home. ♬ Outside India: ♬ Main To Away Away Away Away Lut Gaya ♬ #IndvsSA
Karni Sena is attacking schools now? I suppose it's their way of achieving a classless society. https://t.co/HysOa89A3i
The real problem with test cricket - About 400 overs + 35 wickets + 15 other breaks = 450 ad breaks. And 5 advertisers. Which means the same ads play again and again and again and again. Aaaargh!
I hope he remembers to say a word or two about the refinery he is supposed to be inaugurating. https://t.co/ogxvu5369u
Excellent that our government has discontinued the #HajSubsidy. Taxes should be spent on public utility, not religious futility.
By the way, when did they subsidize Haj with another 'j' to make it #Hajj?
Even if you give a crate of beer to the Indian cricket team, they will not be able to drink it. Why? Because they keep losing their openers.
Hey. Maybe Parthiv came in because Rohit has nipped back to the hotel to wear his blue jersey inside the white jersey. Big innings coming up from him.
Happy Pongal. Here... take the Venn Pongal pic that I share every year. Venn did I create it? Years back. Venn will I stop sharing it year after year? NEVER. #பொங்கல் https://t.co/qEfhIlMldr
Saw Mukkabaaz yesterday. Super good movie. Hope it does well at the er... box office.
In a dramatic reversal of roles, I am expecting BCCI to form a panel of retired cricketers who will recommend urgent reforms to the Supreme Court.
Well done Virat Kohli. Welcome to the 21st century.
First, fingerprint. Now, Face Authentication. Have started strongly suspecting that the real person behind Aadhaar is Tim Cook.
At UIDAI HQ - "Sir, Aadhaar hasn't been doing too well." "Ok. Let's try Phase 2." "Face too? Okay sir." ♬ DADANG ♬ Aadhaar to support Face Authentication. #SelfThoo
Kohli is playing like Tendulkar in the 1990s. Unfortunately, the rest of the team is also playing like the rest of the team in the 1990s.
Most convenient rain in Centurion. Now the Indian team can take a short break, and come back to bowl, armed with wisdom, tactics, useful tips and inspiration from Ravi Shastri.
#IndvsSA Unfortunately, that nick went between Pujara, our 1-drop batsman, and Parthiv Patel, our 1-drop keeper.
Three wrong answers from Virat Kohli today - 1. Rohit or Rahane? Rohit. ✘ 2. Ishant or Bhuvi? Ishant. ✘ 3. Heads or Tails. Heads. ✘
Every politician in India agrees that the the judgments of courts should be respected. It’s just that each party respects a different set of judgments. #2GScamVerdict
CONGRESS MPs DID NOT LET SACHIN TENDULKAR SPEAK IN PARLIAMENT??? CLEAR PROOF THAT THEY ARE AGAINST HINDU GODS.
It's time we start grooming some young, new, energetic scams to replace all these old non-performing scams.
Am wondering which evidence the CBI could not gather in the #AdarshScam - 1. That Ashok Chavan had a mother in law? 2. That she owned 3 flats in Adarsh? 3. That the flats were meant for Kargil widows? 4. That a building called Adarsh Housing Society exists?
1942: Quit India Movement. 75 years later... 2017: Acquit India Movement #AdarshScam #2GScamVerdict
Raja, Kanimozhi, Ashok Chavan & Lalu: "Hey, let's hit Goa this weekend". "Yes?" "Yes" Raja, Kanimozhi, Ashok Chavan: " Book me in the cheapest fare." Lalu: "Er... book me in a fare that allows cancellation."
Lalu convicted in #FodderScam. Pandemonium in court. Judge raps gavel sharply and says, “Fodder Fodder. Fodder.” #ScenesIwouldLikeToSee
I'm feeling great kinship with anyone who is tweeting now. We are all people who haven't been invited to the Anushka-Kohli party.
Oh! CBFC wants Padmavati reviewed by historians & former Royals. Former Royals means what? Sreesanth?
Say sorry. No. You say sorry first. No. You say sorry. No. You. Ok. Sorry. Now, say sorry for that other thing. No. You say sorry first for the first thing. Our parliament - A sorry state of affairs.
What they could do is make Triple Talaq mutual. Husband: Talaq. Wife: Talaq. Husband: Talaq. Wife: Talaq. Husband: Talaq. Wife: Talaq. Okay, you are divorced. Wish you both all Talaq in the world.
#CongressFoundationDay Indian National Congress. Founded in 1885. Losted in 2014.
As 2017 fades away, I have much satisfaction, but one regret - That this the year when the words “liberal” and “secular” became insults.
India is enemy of Pakistan India is friend of US India is friend of Palestine But US is friend of Israel Israel is enemy of Palestine Palestine is friend of Pakistan So India is confused But If India becomes friend of Israel, and enemy of Palestine The contradictions go away
Both Sanjay Leela Bansal and Prasoon Josh are happy about Padmavat, and they hope this compromise is acceptable to Narendra Mod and Rahul Gandh. #Padmavati
#Padmavati Maybe the CBFC just said - Please cut the ending.
Hindi word for politics - Rajneeti. Tamil word for politics - ரஜினி தீ. #Rajinikanthpoliticalentry
They say that one should welcome the new year in a special, unique way. So, I plan to stay sober, and sleep early. Happy 2018.
Someone told Rajinikanth, "Hey, give us a party this new year." And see what happened.
Progression of greetings - Dec 31: Advance wishes for a great year ahead Jan 1: May this new year bring you amazing amounts of happiness and prosperity Jan 2: Happy new year Jan 3: HNY Jan 4: Same to you Jan 5: Yaya. Ok.
What are one lakh pedestrians doing at India Gate? Don't they know that the other side of the gate is also India?
The issue we are fighting on has so quickly moved from the 14th century (Padmavati) to the 19th century (Battle of Koregaon). India is modernising rapidly.
The monsoon session of our parliament was quite dry, but the winter session seems to be pretty heated.
Aadhaar details of over a billion people available for Rs. 500? Oh No! The government may now try to fix this by banning 500 rupee notes. https://t.co/HZjDTsSB0P
Why is everyone criticising #Aadhaar? It's obviously the best database that money can buy.
Salman Khan is still visiting Jodhpur Court on that Blackbuck case? By now, that blackbuck's great grand-children also would have given up.