Stephen Colbert @stephenathome

Latest Tweets of Stephen Colbert @stephenathome

Stephen Colbert @stephenathome On Twitter


Status: https://t.co/GxSGpOGAaT


Vital Stats from President Trump’s Physical: Height: 75 Inches. Weight: 239 Pounds. Depth: None.


I believe it was a reading from The Letter of St. Paul to the Elephant in the Room. https://t.co/ffC2PuDe85


Hey, check out my Tuesday night monologue! https://t.co/w5kvLxgyo7


“Unhappiness. Where’s when I was young and we didn’t give a damn, ‘cause we were raised to see life as fun and take it if we can.”


Like taking candy to a baby. https://t.co/dezaDHZHMf


Here's a peek at my Monday night monologue, enjoy! https://t.co/uzsv8mLdvj


Check out my Friday night monologue! https://t.co/UI0w3IsfYk


As FDR so famously said: “December 7, 1941. A date which was a pretty wild scene. Totally nutso. Seriously, that shit was crazypants.” https://t.co/WJngq78Lba


🎶It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right I hope you had the time of your life 🎶 https://t.co/RKT9nZo87G


I’m eight miles high. It’s all gonna pay off, 13 year-old Stephen! https://t.co/IvOMjQKpfE


The White House is saying Trump's slurred speech last week was due to dry throat. It's a common side effect to lying mouth.


I import my good news now. https://t.co/tVupkg0ZX7


Wow, if I had invested $1,000 in Bitcoin last week, today I would have... still no idea how Bitcoin works.


IT’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Yes, Virginia, there IS an Alabama!!


According to Alabama state law, Roy Moore now has to eat his horse. https://t.co/8LVvznMR5y


CNN: Roy Moore lost. MSNBC: Doug Jones will be the next senator from Alabama. FOX: IS MUELLER SECRETLY HILLARY IN A LATEX MASK? WE’LL ASK TED NUGENT.


The weirdest thing about Doug Jones winning was that for the first time since last November, I drank to remember.


This year Santa brought me the best Christmas present of all- a box of @tomhanks! https://t.co/LBpshdydZN



Congratulations to Senator-Elect Doug Jones, who beat Roy Moore and then busted a move to celebrate! https://t.co/9ixmg5PAh6



Not always, but this time. Go see it. https://t.co/5792CYjOni


Now you can binge-watch a whole year of the Late Show in just 4 minutes! https://t.co/y8i0qVbekm



All good things must come to an end. Also, 2017. To celebrate, I’ll be tweeting out some of my favorite moments from the show! #Make2017GreatAgain


Remember my last day at the Daily Show? Totally forgot there were cameras there. #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/KIvV9fXnMR


My new animated series Our Cartoon President (@CartoonPres) will premiere on Sunday, February 11 at 8 PM ET/PT on @Showtime, with a special online preview on January 28! Here’s an early look: https://t.co/lUGBjs4iQQ https://t.co/JX10WIkZij


I did lines of truffle powder with Oprah! #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/bO8xOn9n0o


That time your cool cousin @nickkroll and I taught you about the birds and the bees and the pubes. #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/X9Has545L5


That time I destroyed my innards for your amusement! #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/ca7SaCkWyW


My visit to the Moscow Ritz Presidential Suite or "P Suite." Wink-wink. #givemethepeepeetape #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/Nr8xWb59Gg


Needed special cameras for my new segment "The Two Palest Men In Show Business.” #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/h08Bp423W7


Remember when we had a wonderful kind of day together remaking the Arthur theme? #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/saaMEmKvxB


That time we gave a fond farewell to the only coherent part of Trump's tweets. #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/lTkwyn9GUU


There was that time Dave Chappelle stopped by and made me feel better about America. #Make2017GreatAgain https://t.co/IwV6jWhbiL


Having trouble following today’s news, but I’m excited to congratulate Hoda Kotb on taking over for Sen. Orrin Hatch!!


Please don’t make me picture your “Button.” ...also don’t start a nuclear war, you “Buttonhead.” https://t.co/kfFvLkBMk4


Winter Storm Grayson appears to be turning away from the East Coast, possibly because it can’t compete with the shit-storm in Washington.


Tonight! My desperate bid to get Trump’s disapproval! #TheFakies https://t.co/7exZSesI8m



So excited for Monday’s “MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR!” See you on the red carpet, @AndersonCooper! #TheFakies https://t.co/r8pYCj0g9r


Hey! It's last night's monologue! https://t.co/3SBlKCj1AX


Look, I know things seem bad, but at least lizards aren’t falling from the sky, oh wait... https://t.co/tnlXTkJWBo


Check out my Thursday night monologue! https://t.co/CtXGnPotzJ


One of the most surprising parts of "Fire and Fury" is how Donald Trump accidentally started a national book club.


The President didn't hold his Fake News Awards today, and the fact I said he would is MORE PROOF I SHOULD WIN ONE!


When you need to quickly get rid of Stephen Miller… #JakeTapperandtheDeathlyGuest https://t.co/FkGGmfFpmG



Hey, check out my Monday night monologue! https://t.co/LVaB1rjSnx


We got Trump’s audio feed for the National Anthem! https://t.co/CZb2w1ExBu


Here's my Tuesday night monologue! https://t.co/UX0IGIhvuP


Nothin’ but respect for OUR @CartoonPres. It premieres Sunday, Feb 11, 8 PM ET/PT on @Showtime. https://t.co/DnTDbXYyRf



This season of Black Mirror is more disturbing than I could’ve possibly imagined. https://t.co/gB1IsupHvK

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