Stephen Colbert @stephenathome

Latest Tweets of Stephen Colbert @stephenathome

Stephen Colbert @stephenathome On Twitter


Vital Stats from President Trump’s Physical: Height: 75 Inches. Weight: 239 Pounds. Depth: None.

I believe it was a reading from The Letter of St. Paul to the Elephant in the Room.

Hey, check out my Tuesday night monologue!

“Unhappiness. Where’s when I was young and we didn’t give a damn, ‘cause we were raised to see life as fun and take it if we can.”

Like taking candy to a baby.

Here's a peek at my Monday night monologue, enjoy!

Check out my Friday night monologue!

As FDR so famously said: “December 7, 1941. A date which was a pretty wild scene. Totally nutso. Seriously, that shit was crazypants.”

🎶It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right I hope you had the time of your life 🎶

I’m eight miles high. It’s all gonna pay off, 13 year-old Stephen!

The White House is saying Trump's slurred speech last week was due to dry throat. It's a common side effect to lying mouth.

I import my good news now.

Wow, if I had invested $1,000 in Bitcoin last week, today I would have... still no idea how Bitcoin works.

IT’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Yes, Virginia, there IS an Alabama!!

According to Alabama state law, Roy Moore now has to eat his horse.

CNN: Roy Moore lost. MSNBC: Doug Jones will be the next senator from Alabama. FOX: IS MUELLER SECRETLY HILLARY IN A LATEX MASK? WE’LL ASK TED NUGENT.

The weirdest thing about Doug Jones winning was that for the first time since last November, I drank to remember.

This year Santa brought me the best Christmas present of all- a box of @tomhanks!

Congratulations to Senator-Elect Doug Jones, who beat Roy Moore and then busted a move to celebrate!

Not always, but this time. Go see it.

Now you can binge-watch a whole year of the Late Show in just 4 minutes!

All good things must come to an end. Also, 2017. To celebrate, I’ll be tweeting out some of my favorite moments from the show! #Make2017GreatAgain

Remember my last day at the Daily Show? Totally forgot there were cameras there. #Make2017GreatAgain

My new animated series Our Cartoon President (@CartoonPres) will premiere on Sunday, February 11 at 8 PM ET/PT on @Showtime, with a special online preview on January 28! Here’s an early look:

I did lines of truffle powder with Oprah! #Make2017GreatAgain

That time your cool cousin @nickkroll and I taught you about the birds and the bees and the pubes. #Make2017GreatAgain

That time I destroyed my innards for your amusement! #Make2017GreatAgain

My visit to the Moscow Ritz Presidential Suite or "P Suite." Wink-wink. #givemethepeepeetape #Make2017GreatAgain

Needed special cameras for my new segment "The Two Palest Men In Show Business.” #Make2017GreatAgain

Remember when we had a wonderful kind of day together remaking the Arthur theme? #Make2017GreatAgain

That time we gave a fond farewell to the only coherent part of Trump's tweets. #Make2017GreatAgain

There was that time Dave Chappelle stopped by and made me feel better about America. #Make2017GreatAgain

Having trouble following today’s news, but I’m excited to congratulate Hoda Kotb on taking over for Sen. Orrin Hatch!!

Please don’t make me picture your “Button.” ...also don’t start a nuclear war, you “Buttonhead.”

Winter Storm Grayson appears to be turning away from the East Coast, possibly because it can’t compete with the shit-storm in Washington.

Tonight! My desperate bid to get Trump’s disapproval! #TheFakies

So excited for Monday’s “MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR!” See you on the red carpet, @AndersonCooper! #TheFakies

Hey! It's last night's monologue!

Look, I know things seem bad, but at least lizards aren’t falling from the sky, oh wait...

Check out my Thursday night monologue!

One of the most surprising parts of "Fire and Fury" is how Donald Trump accidentally started a national book club.

The President didn't hold his Fake News Awards today, and the fact I said he would is MORE PROOF I SHOULD WIN ONE!

When you need to quickly get rid of Stephen Miller… #JakeTapperandtheDeathlyGuest

Hey, check out my Monday night monologue!

We got Trump’s audio feed for the National Anthem!

Here's my Tuesday night monologue!

Nothin’ but respect for OUR @CartoonPres. It premieres Sunday, Feb 11, 8 PM ET/PT on @Showtime.

This season of Black Mirror is more disturbing than I could’ve possibly imagined.

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