What The Onion Tweeted On Twitter?

The Onion Latest Tweets On Twitter

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Slovenian 8th-Graders Surprised Even They Outperformed U.S. Students In Science https://t.co/WOuHFwLw4Z https://t.co/c2nKIJiL0L

The Onion top tweets

Queen Elizabeth Frantically Trying To Preserve European Alliances By Arranging Great-Grandchildren’s Marriages https://t.co/XFVRCaDUcZ https://t.co/UIcMX3FVNt

The Onion top tweets

Sitcom Characters Still In Shock After Christmas Episode Proves Existence Of Santa Claus https://t.co/PQBjHF9q7W https://t.co/DI06Q8WlXf

The Onion top tweets

National News Highlights https://t.co/2ROCRhOJJx


Pros And Cons Of Seeking Out Uncontacted Peoples https://t.co/aroAVuJrwf https://t.co/8HftqA1NIE

The Onion top tweets

Campbell’s Unveils New Tomato Soup Humidifier https://t.co/h43UM7cYjs https://t.co/Cxw0uD7R2x

The Onion top tweets

Time Awards Person Of The Year To Targeted Journalists Including Jamal Khashoggi https://t.co/TsEjNYW7Xw #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/1tlAr5zgkb

The Onion top tweets

Senate Bill To End U.S. Role In Yemen War Rejected By House Raytheon Executives https://t.co/67CHBg32V5 https://t.co/1HrbbX3827

The Onion top tweets

Frat Nutritionists Dare Americans To Swallow More Live Goldfish https://t.co/yqrvhgAEWD https://t.co/iriQdRDmmm

The Onion top tweets

Every Person In High-End Singapore Casino Either Carrying Out Or Target Of Assassination https://t.co/XUQemQBYps https://t.co/MwAsN5gpob

The Onion top tweets

Cowardly Michael Cohen Chooses To Betray President, Go To Prison Rather Than Meet Face-To-Face With ‘The Onion’ https://t.co/N8HCcCoJxN https://t.co/apDndAuiKZ

The Onion top tweets

Thousands Of Drunk Revelers Dressed As Jesus Descend On Vatican For Annual ChristCon Pub Crawl https://t.co/fBWEzSMb9u https://t.co/Q4c1wJ8xvG

The Onion top tweets

‘Oh, Was I Not Enough For You?’ Amazon Echo Asks Couple Bringing New Baby Home https://t.co/ET9OOwFftW https://t.co/bZ5ugS7uyP

The Onion top tweets

New Attractive Person Comes To Nation’s Attention https://t.co/sdUdzQWGHh https://t.co/8dJIXUvvU5

The Onion top tweets

National News Highlights https://t.co/cyE67vqRXd


"In the middle of the night, I’ll wake up in a cold sweat, having dreamed I was back there in Arizona, serving as a pawn in a game to rally the president’s voter base." https://t.co/LnhtKjUv8u

Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk https://t.co/jgr14jQX49 https://t.co/XcaRbPO9Vx

The Onion top tweets

Jonesing Nation Demands Trump Tell Them Where, Exactly, Drugs Are Pouring Into Country https://t.co/TiKXrpt17P https://t.co/G9Fs0587mN

The Onion top tweets

Trump Claims Substantial Portions Of The U.S.-Mexico Laser Forcefield Have Already Been Built https://t.co/x2qnpapAMG https://t.co/Q3xaVw8GJ2

The Onion top tweets

Charmin Introduces New Disposable Toilet Paper https://t.co/goQIDp6WLK https://t.co/ayutlggUWB

The Onion top tweets

White House Holiday Decorations Through History https://t.co/0gTxlVQ7i9


Court Filings Suggest Trump Illegally Directed Hush Money Payments https://t.co/xULS8RxnIR #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/R1UGC8J047

The Onion top tweets

Authoritarian Secretary Of Transportation Declares She Has Ultimate Right Of Way In Every Traffic Scenario https://t.co/m6AWxkjEt4 https://t.co/Ok8qaJmRLM

The Onion top tweets

Bertolli Packaging Promises Empty Ravioli Floating In Filling-Saturated Water In Just 5 Minutes https://t.co/dsr72Te0F6 https://t.co/aWyB22GJru

The Onion top tweets

High School Band Teacher Spends 85% Of Rehearsal Hammering In Dress Code For Holiday Concert https://t.co/1xxyTpmq8A https://t.co/0Vj5y18pe3

The Onion top tweets

"The ficus has been honored to serve President Trump and the American people these last several months and plans to continue advancing the MAGA cause as a member of the private sector." https://t.co/KfgwPSf2XP

National News Highlights https://t.co/9lyx2vcveM


87% Of Loud Crashing Noises Are Nothing, Report Top Experts From Other Room https://t.co/wqQvQmXnHE https://t.co/8CAydkfhfH

The Onion top tweets

"It’s a great little pick-me-up. Sure, there’s still caffeine in the cola, but it’s just enough to help keep the cravings away." https://t.co/JR8lgxiQpN

John Kelly Out As Chief Of Staff https://t.co/AWLS7o8jPX #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/Se3OCaOYPf

The Onion top tweets

Scarf Tragically Lost In 15-Coat Pile-Up https://t.co/XJEetNyYEZ https://t.co/O0irB8aDTa

The Onion top tweets

"After decades of relying on the devices for automated flushing, it appears those red blinking sensors in toilet stalls have also been filming each and every one of their users as they relieved themselves." https://t.co/I3JWOI2HKx

Area Man Still Searching For Hookup Subculture On LinkedIn https://t.co/xvYsauyC4f https://t.co/7IwizyUJwg

The Onion top tweets

For more exemplary journalism, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed. https://t.co/BIJF9R2S0M

The Onion top tweets

‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Now Just Hoping George R.R. Martin Dies Soon So Estate Can Release Whatever He’s Already Written https://t.co/0SSligsWJP https://t.co/UyvWzQmrSX

The Onion top tweets

This Week's Editorial Cartoon: "Flakes On A Plain" https://t.co/shSACVgVEu https://t.co/FKWwKqvCof

The Onion top tweets

‘Nothing Is More Attractive Than Confidence,’ Says Woman Who Has Apparently Never Seen Sonic The Hedgehog Cosplay https://t.co/6KVlVbso8f https://t.co/DFCRFigv78

The Onion top tweets

Bob Iger: At Disney, We Live Every Day In Terror That You’ll Turn On Superhero Movies https://t.co/kLXwNR4y1K https://t.co/PbXhoz6yFw

The Onion top tweets

Report: Those Sensors That Flush Public Toilets Were Also Cameras This Whole Time https://t.co/6aAci6vNU4 https://t.co/mhC1tesraC

The Onion top tweets

Study Finds 79% Of Statistics Now Sobering https://t.co/uGMb7ao2ov https://t.co/SEjJC5yFwJ

The Onion top tweets

Incredibly Popular George H.W. Bush Funeral Gets Extended 2-Week Run https://t.co/UTAUWVdGJu https://t.co/9GDBXzP8CM

The Onion top tweets

Taco Bell To Offer Discreet Purchasing Charged Under ‘TBfoodsLLC’ https://t.co/VvGJSlrOIu https://t.co/pPMcl7hYto

The Onion top tweets

Financial Experts Say Stock Market Constantly Plunging, Reaching Record Highs Leading Indicator Of Healthy Economy https://t.co/WlzCCAaigL https://t.co/fVaVSR6pGt

The Onion top tweets

Disney Finds Dozens Of Unauthorized Characters Appearing Illegally Inside Theme Park https://t.co/0rTHGj5cOJ https://t.co/B3DKY3vIIu

The Onion top tweets

Should The NFL Prohibit Players From Appearing In Hotel Security Footage? https://t.co/Qs2b0Tffqk


Grandmother Down To 10-Step Radius Around Recliner In Den https://t.co/bQ9GfDFVNG https://t.co/jP6fnkKbqc

The Onion top tweets

Pope Rummaging Through Vatican Basement For Plastic Nativity Scene Figures https://t.co/JJdTPHRqCJ https://t.co/cXeJTEhqSx

The Onion top tweets

This Weekend's Onion Magazine: https://t.co/N5akHtjMJM https://t.co/vC34lqRI4c

The Onion top tweets

Wisconsin Legislature Weakens Incoming Democratic Governor By Restricting His Access To Food, Water, Shelter https://t.co/vSAlafu0GI https://t.co/QZ6VzW4xpi

The Onion top tweets

Wes Anderson Begins Filming Next Film In France https://t.co/CLdIVEyjrL #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/rSmwjpUN4z

The Onion top tweets
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