What The Onion Tweeted On Twitter?

The Onion Latest Tweets On Twitter

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 19, 2018 https://t.co/LhR73fsGkd https://t.co/mgz0fcAJK0

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Cops Bust Filthy, Unshaven Mark Zuckerberg For Selling Personal Data On Street Corner https://t.co/tUdVN1nTMI https://t.co/pVetmpIipQ

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Encouraging Report Shows 45% Of Onion Social Users Survive Beta Testing https://t.co/8Vu8BTF5JI https://t.co/nDIhAMo4h9

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Stephen Miller Furious At ProPublica For Only Releasing 7-Minute Recording Of Immigrant Children Sobbing https://t.co/YO5Krj371a https://t.co/2c0aeDMim2

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Signing up for Onion Social is easy. After you make a user name and password, just draw two vials of your blood and you’re ready to start connecting. https://t.co/GVQbDCIn6r

New Study Finds No Long-Term Health Benefits https://t.co/CJUkj4ZhTT https://t.co/mPBIkID51f

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Archaeologists Discover Fully Intact 17th-Century Belief System In Ohio Congressman https://t.co/Yrfk1KzsfD https://t.co/tAOKvKu0tk

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Former Prom King Now Living Anonymously Among Commoners https://t.co/KUgKmjeAN1 https://t.co/Y4LuSu8TeL

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"Simply put, I am forced to tear kids away from their parents, because I am legally prohibited from throttling immigrants until their bodies go limp." https://t.co/V9DEhJ02tL

Netflix Defends ‘Queer Eye’ Episode Where The Fab Five Forced To Euthanize Completely Hopeless Slob https://t.co/eB6TmogSvG https://t.co/ImwjXKq8Tw

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‘Incredibles 2’ Animator Describes How He Missed The Birth Of His First Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Penis Bulge https://t.co/52PD9CqOwa


Addition Of Ketchup Factored Into Calculation Of French Fry’s Final Temperature https://t.co/JGbxIuzW36 https://t.co/IUS3CMvrvr

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Real Estate Developers Push To Rebrand Murder Heights Neighborhood Of Baltimore https://t.co/ak2nhv0Eo2 https://t.co/hF9V7IlEEw

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Meet Jeremy, Founder And CEO Of Onion Social https://t.co/93mImiwNYN


Onion Social CEO: ‘We’re Proud To Announce The First Genital Recognition Software’ https://t.co/b8O1vuPDIV https://t.co/GqwXBY0wSt

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Priscilla Chan Leaves Mark Zuckerberg For Onion Social CEO https://t.co/m24eOrGvmL https://t.co/pM22162I7y

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Laura Bush Publishes Courageous Op-Ed Calling For Imprisonment Of Whoever Created ICE https://t.co/mWQbywlU7i https://t.co/CSf4ZQAuuN

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Jeff Sessions Argues Family Separations Only Happening Because Current Law Doesn’t Allow Him To Strangle Immigrants With Bare Hands https://t.co/dJLWRztH5q https://t.co/SpD4WmTQEq

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New Speech Recognition Software Factors In User’s Mouth Always Being Full https://t.co/ZPUzYNhkrT https://t.co/qeC5WliCSL

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Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings https://t.co/PN01rXdVzE https://t.co/SVJhtmVxHa

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Number Of Users Who Actually Enjoy Facebook Down To 4 https://t.co/HoF4XKwXEW https://t.co/ncYFmPsJfj

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Area Dad Informs Busboy He’s Ready To Order https://t.co/8sWPbfAHoP https://t.co/L1uTMdeOII

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Report: Dad Proud Of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True https://t.co/eE8T1lgKwM https://t.co/YeuGy1raJs

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New Facebook Notifications Alert Users When They Not Currently Looking At Facebook https://t.co/bJQj5GSQv1 https://t.co/s0azcJn8ol

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Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation https://t.co/MlA7hecsXK https://t.co/MUkIeXIwXx

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Woman Celebrates 4th Year Of Weaning Self Off Facebook https://t.co/mK3tNamBJA https://t.co/uDLJBkjJB0

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Area Dad Looking To Get Average Phone Call With Adult Son Down To 47.5 Seconds https://t.co/kkbx8F5iBM https://t.co/7DQIcPYUyJ

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Woman Who Doesn’t Use Facebook Completely Out Of Touch With Friends’ Prejudices https://t.co/D0fzFEiYpx https://t.co/XdLzUJTnoz

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Hallmark Debuts 1-Square-Inch Father’s Day Card With No Room For Writing Anything https://t.co/5RybAreK6p https://t.co/Cgqsj1IfBk

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Facebook Status Update Field Dreading What Area Man About To Type Into It https://t.co/qj2aVKgUm9 https://t.co/xdcOQTDMGA

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Dad Can’t Believe Lawn Didn’t Get Him Anything For Father’s Day https://t.co/vE0zkmN4pQ https://t.co/nRA8dFo568

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Media Organizations Make Pilgrimage To Facebook Headquarters To Lay Content At Foot Of Mark Zuckerberg https://t.co/adknWMPYDn https://t.co/AFg8miqBLH

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Mark Zuckerberg Admits He Unsure Why Anyone Still Uses Facebook https://t.co/BKKLZjHQiC https://t.co/4K2f3n7zSy

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Horrible Facebook Algorithm Accident Results In Exposure To New Ideas https://t.co/HSMmZ9kfmr https://t.co/jK8yeBSJPO

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Facebook Employees Explain Daily Struggle Of Trying To Care About Company's Unethical Practices When Gig So Cushy https://t.co/zkuAeqQoV8


The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide https://t.co/PUrke8lhxA https://t.co/xi8Bo3AXN6

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Report: Nothing Stopping You From Deleting Your Facebook Account Right Now https://t.co/RYoPbgeOBw https://t.co/zgWQBi2Tf5

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5 Things To Know About Mark Zuckerberg https://t.co/qA1ISLc9Kx


Facebook User Verifies Truth Of Article By Carefully Checking It Against Own Preconceived Opinions https://t.co/ArqjhMaExI https://t.co/dERQp1pEA1

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Newspaper Starting To Worry Spending So Much Time On Facebook Not Healthy For It https://t.co/gp2W8VWJoJ https://t.co/3we8f05gpy

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Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source https://t.co/R0PKfND20M https://t.co/3IHKta37yT

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Will The World Cup Inspire More Americans To Play FIFA Online With Hank? https://t.co/aUOZOvhSs0


Researchers Find Decline In Facebook Use Could Be Directly Linked To Desire To Be Happy, Fully Functioning Person https://t.co/NXHmZKhxJF https://t.co/IMBqEw2pA4

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David Lynch To Release Hybrid Memoir–Biography Next Week https://t.co/cjTjPOHLxK #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/KE7X7KgJir

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Did You Know? https://t.co/sHxHQ5IVWz


Mark Zuckerberg: ‘You Should Be Grateful All Your Incessant Oversharing Online Is Actually Worth Something’ https://t.co/k86JtYhQFU https://t.co/Op1E9Q5YVw

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National News Highlights https://t.co/iDwCbugBP4


For more world-renowned reportage, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed. https://t.co/EunGND8ukI

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Coworker Following World Cup Goes All-In On Tenuous Family Connection To Portugal https://t.co/uE3BGxuJ1p https://t.co/cAm3abVrkv

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MIT Researchers Create ‘Psychopath’ AI By Feeding It Reddit Data https://t.co/jelUBhtMb0 #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/FWiycYeInO

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